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I had a real Perv Nana growing up. Holidays were weird, to say the least. We’d all gather around the dinner table for a big meal, and every year she’d have a young new boy toy who was clearly there for something more than just the stuffing—or just the stuffing, depending on how you look at it. There was always a race to cram the cranberry sauce into our faces and then get the fuck out of there before we had to hear nana getting her face crammed with something else entirely. Let’s call it the family recipe.

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